Increase Your Self Acceptance:
7 Strategies to Like Yourself More
By
Dr. Rachna Jain
Seven Success Strategies
Many of us have grown up with negative messages or negative experiences surrounding our worth and value. Often, we don't feel worthy of living the wonderful life we clearly desire.
In this article, I'll share seven success strategies to help you like yourself more. Many of my clients have used these with amazing results. I invite you to try them for yourself!
- Get Rid of Tolerations.
One of the places that coaching often begins is in the area of tolerations, which are aspects of your life that you are "putting up with" or "tolerating". This can be something as simple as a missing button on your favorite shirt, a crack in your car's windshield, the wobbly front step) Whatever the toleration is, it does get in the way of self acceptance. If you spend precious time, energy, or thoughts worried about something you can easily fix (i.e. by sewing the missing button back on, or having the windshield repaired), why not take one day and knock all these daily annoyances out of your life? Life will run more smoothly, and you'll feel better, too!
- Tame the Inner Critic.
The Inner Critic is that nagging voice we each possess which continually tells us that we're not enough. This is the one that pipes up and says things like, "That was so stupid. How could you have been so stupid?" Know which voice I mean?? Taming the Inner Critic is one HUGE step you can take to increase your self-acceptance. Rather than saying, "That was SO stupid" the next time you make a mistake, try replacing it with "Wow. That was SO human". Notice how this feels. Try it for a week, and notice how your self confidence starts to rise.
- Have High Standards and Strong Boundaries.
What is the difference between a "standard" and a "boundary"? Simply defined, a standard is a rule you have for how you will treat yourself. A boundary is a rule you have for how you will let others treat you. To have high standards means that you allow yourself to be human, and to make mistakes, while recognizing that you are always striving to do the best you can. [I mean, do you ever really *try* to do a bad job on something you care about?] To have strong boundaries means that you intend to be treated in a certain way- as with courtesy, kindness, and compassion. The closer that your standards and boundaries align, the more self-accepting you will be. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you, and request that others treat you the way you want to be treated.
- Be consistent with your word.
Sounds simple, but this can be tricky. One way of increasing your self acceptance is to "say what you do, and do what you say." Too often, there is a mismatch between what we say we want, and what we actually do. For example, how many times have you heard someone say, "I want to be healthy, so I'm cutting out junk food", and then you notice this person eating junk food? In my belief, this is doubly harmful- one, from the physical health perspective, and two, because this person has been inconsistent. The more inconsistent we are in our self-talk, the more difficult it is for us to like and trust ourselves. We tend to easily believe we can't be trusted, which wears down our self esteem even further.
- Create a fulfilling environment for yourself.
The more you like the space you live in, the more you will like yourself. Very often, my clients are "hanging on" to outdated books, clothes, household items, and ideas which no longer serve them. It does none of us much good to be reminded of what might have been. If you want to like yourself more, start today by clearing out all the items which no longer "fit" your life or your lifestyle. You'll have the space to fill your life with more of what you really love!
- Practice giving and accepting compliments.
Say nice things to others, and accept the nice things they say about you. Really grasp that you are wonderful and important to so many people. Try giving at least five sincere compliments over this week, and accept the next 10 that come your way. You may even want to write these down, to refer back to when needed.
- Recognize that self-acceptance is a journey.
It would be wonderful if we could just wake up tomorrow cleared of all our negative stories. However, realistically, changing takes time. Recognize that you want to like yourself more, and do what it takes to get there. Change what you need to change, and love the rest.
D. Jain Copyright © 2002. All Rights In All Media Reserved
About the author:
Dr. Rachna D. Jain
Please visit Dr. Rachna's web site at www.maximalhappiness.com
E-mail Dr. Rachna at coach@maximalhappiness.com
Or call 1-866-9COACH9.
back to the main articles page
|
